Tsuna's Rumination
by Ominous Rain
Summary: When the sky can't reflect anything, there's no sun, no clouds, no mist, no rain, no storm, and no lightening. There's nothing but dark gray, not even blue. {Drabble/Song fic}


_Summary: When the sky can't reflect anything, there's no sun, no clouds, no mist, no rain, no storm, and no lightening. There's nothing but dark gray, not even blue. {Drabble/Song fic}_

 **Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn belongs to Akira Amano.**

Not beta-ed. Inspired by H.I.M's "Heartache Every Moment." Spur of the moment.

 **Due to reviews pointing out the copyright to song lyrics, they have been taken out of the piece. I suggest listening to the song when reading.**

* * *

 **Heartache Every Moment**

Tsuna doesn't say anything when the glass shards from the mirror gently fall on the bathroom sink. His face is set into silent angry lines as he stares at his bloodied fist, leaking, crawling down the clear reflection of his face.

His chest moved up and down heavily. His breath was quiet.

The emotions water over Tsuna's eyes but he does not let them fall. It seems no matter how much he tries he fails at everything regardless.

It's been a year since Reborn has come into the Tsuna's life to train him to be Vongola Decimo. It feels like a decade already with the responsibilities he's taken on. Now that he's taken on the mantle of Decimo, it seems everything he does has an extra effect.

His grades have made minimal progress despite Reborn's way of "tutoring" and help from Gokudera. He's overheard his classmates still gossiping of how he must _"_ _ **be holding Yamamoto-kun and Gokudera-kun back. Dame-Tsuna's stupid must affect the ones closest to him obviously. Why else would they want to hang out with him?**_ _"_

It stung of course. He thought he gained some respect after fighting Ten Years in the future. But, of course he should have known his classmates still saw him as No-Good. While he wasn't dead last anymore, he was no where near the top. His classmates will, nor have seen him, performing mafia business to get a sense that he was much smarter than his test results. The respect he's earned for his strength thus far in the mafia world is shaky as well.

Tsuna lets loose a quiet sardonic laugh. Of course, who would ever respect Dame-Tsuna?

He remembers, walking in the hallway of the hideout Gianini was speaking to Spanner " _ **I wish Tsuna was a little more skilled when giving orders. He confuses me when he tells me to work on this or that product all at the same time.**_ "

His poor subordinates must think him a laughing stock. They probably only follow his orders out of fear for the Ninth and Reborn. Well it was a given he failed at communicating. He still couldn't get his Mist Guardian to understand his thoughts even when they share the same mind scape.

 _ **Tsunayoshi.**_ _ **What do you mean when you say you care for me? Caring is fickle. Humans are fickle. You have to**_ _show and tell me_ _ **or else I can't understand.**_

Oh, his lovely Mist Guardian loved to play mind games with him. Even when he was being painfully serious.

Tack on the failed communication with his father and Tsuna's social skills have not improved at all. Granted he didn't try hard to begin with anyway.

" _ **What happened to the sweet, timid boy I used to know? You're…different.**_ "

That Tsuna died along with adulthood. That's what being Decimo meant. He could no longer be a child anymore. He hadn't had time for games in a long time.

And it made him wonder, what did his friends think of him now? Of their lives now? He never had self-esteem to begin with. Being constantly called Dame-Tsuna by his mother and classmates never helped that fact. The question mark his absent father left was also felt. _**Why didn't he love me over the mafia?**_

Today everyone was gone. Reborn was missing. Gokudera had to do something. Yamamoto was hanging out with his baseball buddies. Hibari was Hibari. Ryohei went on a family trip with Kyoko. Lambo was out with his mother somewhere, and Mukuro was being unusually quiet.

His friends probably thought (except Gokudera) their lives were more complicated (onerous) now. He could tell by the way Yamamoto has eye bags. The way Ryohei's shoulder's sag unlike they used to from time to time. Lambo asking Tsuna what could he do to help the family everyday. The increase of naps Hibari took a day. Gokudera's chain smoking becoming worse. Mukuro's nightmares from prison bleeding into his own.

Tsuna wondered if they were going to be okay. If he was going to be okay. He wondered how he was going to hide a broken mirror and bloody knuckles.

Taking a look at the gray sky outside, Tsuna wondered if this is how the sky feels when it can't reflect the other elements because it was too grayed by an oncoming hurricane.


End file.
